I grew up in a household where getting fat was unacceptable. You become obsessed with weight, and when results aren’t apparent you generate different options. You get into a diet, you go to the gym; and when you live in a small town where their largest bathing suits don’t fit you, you generate second options. First bulimia. Then when that doesn’t work, cocaine. Then when you want faster results, meth. I stayed with one choice; Bath Salt. It was legal, it sped up the process, and I ended up 110 pounds. I couldn’t go to jail for it and in my defense it was “better than meth.”
Drugs surely sped up the process and the biggest excuse you have to continue using is “how much weight am I going to gain?”
What you really should be asking yourself is,
“What do I look like now?”
You’ve got no ass, no tits, you look sick, you smell like shit no matter how many showers you take, and you make no sense. You are unattractive as shit. Real Talk.
I was 110 pounds and 3 months later I was a wonderful 170.
Is it really wonderful? Fuck no. The only reason I gained that much weight is because my whole 110 pounds was due to using instead of eating; using after eating. Using while eating. Suppressed appetite sure, but god damn was I hungry after I slept for like a week straight. You learn how good food really is when you spend 2 years avoiding it.
I see pictures of me getting skinnier and skinnier and a time where I wouldn’t take pictures at all. Now I run everyday. That’s called not making excuses to use. I watch what I eat, and make an effort to look healthy AND skinny; No one likes the profile image of society’s version of a “crackhead.”
To all you women who are afraid of gaining weight, I can assure you you’re going to like yourself more when you have energy, when you look healthy, and when you smell wonderful. if you don’t respect yourself, no one is going to respect you. Cut most of your bullshit insecurities out of the picture and put that effort into being healthy for yourself. No one else but yourself.